


Nostalgia

by qiaolianmay



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 12:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6237772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qiaolianmay/pseuds/qiaolianmay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a little something after 3x11 during Philinda office scene :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nostalgia

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a little groggy because i'm battling with my thesis right now even if i'm being shitty doing it. This is just a little escape. I hope you like it! xx - loudestdork

A little buzz

That's what she was feeling right now. It had been two hours since they started drinking the scotch that was sitting beside her on his desk. It's been two hours and the only thing that she was able to get from him was the feeling of something different. It reminded her when she asked him to unbutton his shirt after he said something about him feeling different no matter how the result told him that it's all normal.

_'a little high on the iron, but don't worry, you don't have to call me ironman.'_

She grinned at the memory. It was back in the bus and she was still hiding the truth from him. Eight seconds? Lie. Forty? Lie as well. He died, almost indefinitely. Thanks to T.A.H.I.T.I project that he facilitated, he's alive and she would be forever thankful for that. Pushing him away was hard but losing him altogether was something she couldn't live. A place without Phil Coulson was a place unimaginable.

For her nonetheless.

Melinda looked on her side and saw the prototype of the bus. _Her bus._

She miss it so much. Phil was right when he said that most things in that bus were terrible memories but that plane meant so much more to her. That plane gave her a second chance. It wasn't agreeing to Fury or Phil's offer but it was the plane. She created new sets of memories in the flying boat. She experienced more than a roller coaster ride in it. She met the people whom she never thought would be the biggest part of her life. The plane gave her a second chance to start again, to mend.

To heal with the help of the people in that aircraft.

She really missed her bus...

A rustle broke her reverie and a sound of the bottle being moved made her look at the culprit.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked.

"Do you have at least 500?" She replied.

Phil smiled at her answer. He settled himself beside her and pour himself another glass. He reached for her glass and fixed some for her too.

A buzz. There it was again. She could feel the scotch slowly consuming her system. She was known to be able to hold her liquor and it was unusual that she's feeling the effect so soon after drinking half of the bottle beside them.

"Have I told you that I miss you?" Phil asked.

It was so random. He's always random.

May looked at him and she tilted her head a little. It might've been out of character for her but Coulson knew this look, it was the same look she used to give him when she's confused with his questions. It was also a sign that she's feeling the effect of their drink but given her tolerance he's thinking it was the first.

"I missed working with you. It had been a long time and we were so focused with different things. I haven't even apologize to you at length." he started. May stopped looking at him and leaned on his shoulders instead.

He was wrong. It was totally the second one. May, on the other hand, was nursing the glass on her hand. Her thoughts were traveling miles after miles. So many things had happened and Phil's words were registering in her brain clearly. The last time they really talked was when he tried to apologized to her and she walked away. There were so many things happening that time and she couldn't help but feel betrayed by him. It was true that she did it first but it was to protect him. Then, he had to do the same for whatever reasons he and Fury had.

After learning the truth about the secret line to Fury, she already felt like that there was a shift between them that couldn't be repaired. He already threw Bahrain carelessly twice already --when he was pulling the shrapnel on her shoulder and when he mentioned it trying to apologize...at length.--knew the effects of it on her.

Then, she asked for a vacation. A part of her knew that one of the reasons why she asked for it was because of him. She felt the need to reevaluate her life. When she asked Andrew about starting over, it was the truth. She wanted a change of pace, try to have something else other than SHIELD in her life and to somehow separate her life with Phil and the rest of the team. She needed to mend first to be able to keep them all safe.

And unexpected happened.

Coulson and her lost the people they cared about. He may not loved Rosalind but he cared for her. She became part of his life and he must've felt that he was getting a second chance. She felt that too with Andrew.

Until they both lost them.

"Lin, are you okay?" He asked, his voice marred with worry. She tensed at the question. It was the first time that someone actually asked that even if it was as casual as this. She felt his hand moved to her shoulder and pulled her in towards his chest. It was the most intimate they have after everything that had happened.

May wanted to pull away and tell him yes. Everything's fine and there's nothing to worry about. She was already convincing herself that she was okay, that there were times that she actually succeeded in concvincing herself that she's fine, but no. She's not. With all of the things that were happening, with Andrew--the guy she thought she'd spend her life with--turning into something she couldn't explain, Phil and hers vulnerable friendship, her own family and the threats for their lives because of her line of work, the team... it's all too much but if no one will look after them, then who will? She knew that they were capable of taking good care of themselves but they're still kids. She's tired and she wanted to take a rest even for a bit but she couldn't. She's afraid that once she closed her eyes something would happen and she wouldn't be there to protect them. To keep them safe.

Her thoughts were cut when Phil asked her again. May shook her head because what was there to hide? That's Phil asking her. Phil, her longest friend and that one person she trusted her life with. Hiding was meaningless if he already knew.

What she didn't expect was when Phil pulled her closer and leaned in to get the glass on her hand and settled it beside his.

"Get some rest. You've been looking for us for a long time. Let me take care of you, for now. Sleep Lin. I'll still be here when you wake up."

And she succumbed to a dreamless sleep for the first time in years but wasn't after she heard him muttered about needing to get a couch soon.


End file.
